Direct Mail

Direct Mail

Dear John, Since hearing of your recent troubles with that rabble gang of wretched marketeers, I have endeavored to apply quill to parchment with the utmost haste. What you have thus far endured is nothing shy of deplorable, and as a proud patron of the marketing...
LinkedIn Lead Gen

LinkedIn Lead Gen

Mark Ketting Title: Marketing & SEO Guru Headline: Want to learn more about me? Google it. Bio: I’d tell you my professional background – but that’s not going to improve your rankings. So I won’t bother telling you… 💪 That I scale six figure businesses for...
AdWords & PPC

AdWords & PPC

Google Ads. So simple, right? Just bid on some keywords, pay for the ads, slap em’ right at the top of Google, and watch the clicks roll in. Well… “As a matter of fact,” says the Annoying Marketing Nerd. “There’s a bit more to it than that.” Christ, here we go. “The...
Quarterly Meetings

Quarterly Meetings

Marketing meeting checklist: ✔️ Talk about dogs ✔️ Talk about Netflix ✔️ Doodle in notebook ✔️ Stare blankly at wall ✔️ Smugly avoid doing actual work ✔️ Contemplate life, the universe, and everything ✔️ Nod in agreement ✔️ Say stuff like “we can implement a scalable...
Email Marketing

Email Marketing

Introducing a new style of marketing email: the INTROVERTED email. Observe. ——————————————————————————————- Subject: Please don’t click me!! ——————————————————————————————- Why, [Prospects name]? Why did you do that?? I was PERFECTLY happy to sit in your inbox,...